At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
