Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
