i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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