So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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