idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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