yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
