arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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