I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
