I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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