Is it because I queefed?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
