the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
