At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
17 year olds will be the death of me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
