She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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