How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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