I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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