I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
