We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
