Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
