i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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