Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
