My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
