discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
