If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize