no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
