i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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