Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
