I think i peed on brittanys purse
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
