There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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