Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
