Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
