oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I want her autograph on my taint
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
