woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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