I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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