you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
