One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Oh god it's open bar.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
