You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
