i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
3pm strippers are depressing
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
