1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
