She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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