Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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