Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize