Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
