this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
