wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
