When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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