I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
