eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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