You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
