well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am available for nakedness
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