Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
