when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
