dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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