fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize