is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
