So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize