So drunk, too bad you don't want this
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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