Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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