I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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