So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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