i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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