u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
