ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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