oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
