It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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