On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dicks are not precious.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
