yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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