She is in my trunk
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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